Orem's Mack Daddy

Outside of my immediate family, there are few people who have had major impacts on my life and perhaps no one amongst those people has had more of an impact on my life than one Ray McCoy--Orem's Mack Daddy.

O.M.D. (Orem's Mack Daddy) was a special person. He was a rare breed. He was the type of person that comes around once in a while and when they do, they change lives drastically. He incorporated an open door policy at his home that made anyone feel like their last name was McCoy. He was one of the more genuine and loving people I have ever met.

He gained the O.M.D. nickname after giving it to himself in the parking lot of an American Fork grocery store. Any reference to his nickname following that night was usually accompanied with some type of dance move that he thought he was nailing.

By his own admission, he ate enough Jello to be a Mormon (he himself was a very devout and practicing Catholic).

But more importantly, he was my friend.

I like to think that outside of his immediate family, there was no one that Ray loved more than me. I remember driving with the McCoy family one evening when I was seated in the back seat. Ray kept missing turns, while his extremely loving and wonderful wife Diana was trying to direct him otherwise.

He didn't seem to be heeding her words much and was jokingly telling her to stop being a back-seat driver. Finally, I had had enough. I leaned forward and threw out a direction to Ray about an upcoming turn. Without missing a beat, Ray followed the direction. Diana asked him why he listened to me, but not anyone else in the car. Ray responded that I was the only one that was allowed to be a back-seat driver while he was driving.

I've always remembered that moment.

But I've always remembered it for a very different reason.

It really has nothing to do with me or my new found title as "Ray's only back-seat driver." It had everything to do with his relationship with Diana.

While observing them that night, and while thinking back to that night, there was no more love between a husband and a wife than there was, and is, between Ray and Diana. I could tell how much fun they had together that night. I could tell how much love exists between them. I could tell how much he respected her, while also joking with her about back-seat driving. I could see the high regard in which he held her.

Ray is my second installment of father's that I want to be like. I want my kids to notice and feel the love that I have for their mother. I want them to know how much I care for their mother. I want them to realize how important it is to respect their mother. I want them to see a fun, joking, loving, caring, respectful marriage.

I want to be their Ray and Diana.

Ray was my baseball coach first, but he quickly became one of my best friends. I remember him making a trip to my house to cheer me up after a very discouraging knee injury. He would have done anything for me.

I'll never forget the night I heard about Ray's passing. It was easily one of the toughest nights of my life. I just got done with work in the Kid's Department at Nordstrom (not as creepy as it might read). I was about to get in my car when my friend Sean called me. He broke the news to me and I sat on the hood of my car for a half-hour--not sure how to react.

The next morning, I went to the McCoy's house. I hugged the family members present and thanked them for allowing me to be a part of their family.

I never really got a chance to say goodbye to Ray and I never really got a chance to tell him these things in person. I only hope that I can effectively take what he subtly taught me and apply it to my own life, with my own children. Because of Ray, I will vow to treat my wife with love and respect at all times.

I like to think that Ray has been spending the last several years as a very valuable member of a committee that has been in charge of preparing my child for their earth experience. I hope that child is listening.

I envision Ray telling my baby, while in the midst of one of his dance moves,  "when you get there, tell your dad that Orem's Mack Daddy says hello."