Dear You

Editors Note: My sister, Karissa, has been writing her girls letters on her blog since they were both newborns. I've always enjoyed reading what she writes to them. After the first two pregnancies we had, I started wondering about our child/children and started writing some letters in a series I called 'Letters to You.' 


Now that we are only four weeks away from the birth of our little baby, I wanted to start writing the letters again--only this time with a baby in my mind and no wondering. I hope I can be the type of parent Karissa and Brady are. 


Dear You,

It's five in the morning right now and I am sitting in your room. Something tells me that we'll be sharing a lot of these early morning moments in your room--and I've never looked forward to something more.

I'm scared right now. Not scared of you or scared of the responsibility of being a parent. It's a good scared. It's the kind of scared that causes reflection and causes one to be up early in the morning sitting next to a crib. It's the kind of scared that makes you smile. It's the kind of scared I have been waiting years for. It's the kind of scared I don't ever want to end.

I haven't had these type of scared feelings since the day I left for my LDS mission--only this mission, the one I am embarking on with your mom and you, is for a lot longer than two years. This mission has long-lasting affects on all of us. But these scared feelings are much stronger than those, and I suspect the payoff will be much greater.

There are so many people that are so excited to finally meet you. You've been a wanted person for a very long time. I can't wait to introduce you to all of your family and friends. I can't wait for you meet all the important people in our lives.

I hope you are a forgiving person. I hope you understand that Mom and I will be trying our very hardest to make sure you have everything you need. But I hope you are able to understand that we're learning too.  So, please don't be mad at me if the water or formula is too hot sometimes. Please don't be upset with me if I don't actually "get it all" when changing your diaper. Don't laugh when I put the diaper on backwards (ok, you can laugh at that, in fact, I prefer you laugh rather than cry). I apologize in advance for yanking your arm around trying to get it in those onsies. Don't hate me for bumping your head.

Of all the things that scare me about caring for you, cutting your finger and toe nails seem to be the most frightening, so please don't get too mad if I accidentally cut your tiny finger during that process.

I'm not trying to hurt you, I promise.

I think of how scared I am and it only makes me wonder how scared you might be. You have four weeks to go and then you will begin your journey. Your mom is so tough and she has been such a trooper--you owe her everything, please always remember that.

As if what I told you I'm going to mess up isn't scary enough, there's going to be a lot of things that scare you throughout your life. I promise that I will be there when those things scare you. No matter what, I will be there. There will probably be times when you don't want me to be there. You won't think I'm there, but I will be there.

If you are getting some last minute advice from the support group that I'm convinced God gives all new babies, listen closely. Earth life isn't the only place that has people that love you and want to help you. So, listen to anyone who may be preparing you for your new adventure in the next four weeks. I don't know how that might work, but I think it does, so listen.

We love you so much and we can't wait to meet you. In four short weeks, we all set out on a journey together. I hope it's the first of many things we do together.

-Dad-

p.s. that creature crawling around annoying everyone is Sandy. If you ignore her long enough, she will go away. :)