In a split second, we are capable of having long, complex moments of thought run through our minds. We are able to conjure up hours, days, weeks, months, years of emotions in just a single thought.
For me, that happened last Thursday as I laid between my couch and my coffee table and Etta laid on the other side smiling at me between the legs of the table.
For anyone in Utah, Thursday afternoon had you glued to your news outlets for information about the shooting spree that spanned 50 miles through Utah County--culminating in the shooting of two officers...including one fatally--Sgt. Corey Wride.
The story didn't really hit me until I found myself laying there staring into the blue eyes of my beautiful daughter and watching her laugh at a game of peek-a-boo that she was playing with me under and then above the coffee table.It didn't really hit me until that moment, when I realized that Sgt. Wride had five children and eight grandchildren, and that none of them would have him that night for a game of peek-a-boo. For dinner. For a story. For a hug. Or for just a smile.
And as Etta laughed, rolled over, ran away and hid, ran back and looked under the coffee table. I cried. She didn't know I cried, but I did. In fact, I'm sure she wasn't aware that I was thinking anything other than how I was going to make her laugh next. But what I hope she knows in her own way right now is how grateful I am for every single second I get to spend with her.
What I hope she understands is that I promise to never take a single laugh. Smile. Hug. Kiss. High five. Rocks. Dance move. Step. Jump. Penguin waddle. Bath tub splash. Kitchen set playtime. Story time. Or coffee table peek-a-boo for granted--because there are families, dads, and granddads, moms and grandmas that had those moments taken from them in a split second, while serving other people, no less.
To think that there are men and women in the police force and men and women in the service of our country who are willing to put the loss of those things on the line to protect me and to give me the chance to enjoy those things with my little girls, is mind blowing.
I've been fortunate enough to find myself in situations that have afforded me some incredible views. Beach side sunrises and sunsets. Mountainous wonders from Alaska to the Tetons. Amazing skylines from Los Angeles to New York, and Calgary to Bogota.I've taken photos of all of those amazing views. I have them saved on my phone and on my computer because I know I'll forget someday exactly how they all looked and felt.
But nothing I've ever seen has compared to that Thursday evening and the view I had across the coffee table. The view I didn't need a picture of because it will forever be stamped in my feelings. The view I'll never forget.
The perfect view.
Amazing. All that, in a split second of thought.
